I’ve recently discovered that for those actresses whose body of work I cannot stand, there is one film that I absolutely love. On Anderson Live the other day, Anderson was shocked to hear that people hate Anne Hathaway. I had to agree with most people’s opinion of her, but mine isn’t based on Anne Hathaway personally, it’s based on her body of work. The same thing goes for all the ladies who have made this list. I’m sure they’re perfectly great human beings and may even be considered attractive, but for the most part I won’t be going to a movie theater to see their latest films.
The movie I love: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
I’ve really tried to like Kate Hudson. I have given her more chances than any other actress on this list. Her guest spot on Glee has made me waver slightly on my opinion of her as well as her performance in Nine. It’s quite possible that with the appropriate movie musical, I could completely fall in love with Kate Hudson. I think she’s adorable, and I’ve loved seeing her friendship (and been jealous of it) with Rachel Zoe on The Rachel Zoe Project, but as an actress, she’s not my cup of tea. With that said, I own How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and couldn’t count on my appendages the number of times I’ve watched the woes of Andie Anderson as she attempts to become a serious journalist. Personally, I would take Andie’s job as “How to Girl” any day. I would also love to hijack an event and drunkenly sing “You’re So Vain” to anyone who would listen.
Kate Hudson Performances I’ve Seen
- Glee – Kate is stunning as a failed, scheming former actress who teaches Rachel about life and how to be a fabulous performer and I can’t get enough.
- Something Borrowed – The movie was pretty good, but I don’t remember caring about Kate’s character at all.
- Nine – Kate’s performance of “Cinema Italiano” is pretty stellar. Like I said, with the proper musical, I could really fall in love with her. Her part in Nine was very small but was one of the best parts of an otherwise terrible film.
- Bride Wars – This movie stars Kate alongside Anne Hathaway and I just couldn’t stomach the two of them together.
- My Best Friend’s Girl – I laughed and the movie was actually decent… I may want to revisit this one.
- Fool’s Gold – No. Just no. I saw this thinking that maybe what I loved so much about How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days was the chemistry between Kate and Matthew McConaughey. I was completely wrong.
- The Skeleton Key – This movie terrified me. It was not my choice to watch it, but a one night stand’s and I clearly was not interested in the film but what would transpire during and after.
- Raising Helen – This is just the kind of role that Kate is known for. The movie was cute, but I think she could do so much better.
Movie I love: A Mighty Heart
I’ve never understood the obsession with Angelina Jolie. I’m not into movies based on video games, or action movies in general so I suppose she’s just completely outside of my wheelhouse. When I saw her performance in A Mighty Heart, I was so impressed that I’ve shared the film with just about every one of my friends. Her portrayal of Marianne Pearl is absolutely incredible and there hasn’t been a viewing where I haven’t bawled my eyes out over her pain.
Just so we’re clear: I’m on Team Aniston.
Angelina Jolie Films I’ve Seen
- Mr. & Mrs. Smith – It was not my choice to see this film. It just happened to be part of a double feature following the classic Monster in Law. It was as terrible as expected.
I actually want to see two films starring Angelina Jolie. I’ve never seen Girl, Interrupted and I’ve heard great things (RIP Brittany Murphy). I’m also very excited to see if Ms. Jolie-Pitt messes up Maleficent. I really hope she doesn’t, but if it’s a great movie then suddenly I’m a “fan.”
Movie I love: 27 Dresses
I don’t understand the attraction to Katherine Heigl, either. First of all, her name is spelled KathErine. What? Katharine Hepburn and Katharine McPhee hate this. I’ve never been a fan of medical dramas, so I never had any reason to tune into Grey’s Anatomy, but my roommate loved terrible television so I caught more than enough of Katherine as someone named Izzie. I don’t really think I have to give you another reason to dislike her. I cannot get enough of 27 Dresses, though. I will watch it if it’s on TV even though I own the DVD and I can’t get enough of Jane and all her bridesmaid dresses. I just want to play dress up with her while we drunkenly sing “Crocodile Rock.” I also end up crying over her falling in love with Malcolm.
Katherine Heigl Performances I Have Viewed
- The Ugly Truth – It was a decent film, but it co-starred Gerard Butler.
- More than enough clips of Grey’s Anatomy – No further explanation needed.
- Knocked Up – This movie is supposed to be one of the funniest ever made. It isn’t.
Movie I love: The Devil Wears Prada
I’ve tried pretty hard with Anne Hathaway, too. Not as hard as I tried to love Kate Hudson, but close. Unlike most people, I don’t dislike Anne because she seems like a terrible person, I dislike her because (in my opinion) she’s a terrible actress. I wish her all the best in the future, and continued success, I just don’t plan to give her any of my money. If someone buys the rights to Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns (The Devil Wears Prada sequel by Lauren Weisberger) and casts Anne to reprise her role as Andy, then I’m in because Lauren Weisberger’s true tale of working at Vogue is brilliant and sequels suck when the original actors aren’t cast. Otherwise, I’ll happily watch Anne in The Devil Wears Prada because I know the history of cerulean.
Anne Hathaway Films I’ve Watched
- One Day – This was actually an amazing film, I just wish it was another actress.
- Bride Wars – Anne and Kate together. No.
- Brokeback Mountain – I always forget that Anne Hathaway was in this movie. And I saw her boobs.
- The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement – Okay, so this movie is like a guilty pleasure. Doesn’t mean I like Anne Hathaway any more. Raven Symone and Julie Andrews make up for Anne Hathaway.
- The Princess Diaries – Mandy Moore is in this. Hello? Amazing.
- Ella Enchanted – I’ve pretty much seen every adaptation of Cinderella that exists.
Movie I love: Black Swan
I don’t have much to say about Natalie Portman. I’m just not a fan. I have seen Black Swan more times than I can count and I want nothing more than to be a self-destructive ballerina.
Movies with Natalie Portman that I’ve seen
- New York, I Love You – No. Just no.
- Paris, je t’aime – This is subtitled and I just can’t handle that.
- Closer – We just watched this the other night and I don’t know what it was about Natalie Portman in it that just didn’t do it for me. It got the wheels turning in my head about our language and how we characterize women who cheat versus men who cheat, so something good came out of it.
- Garden State – I didn’t get this movie at all. I know that everybody loves it, but it just wasn’t for me.
- Cold Mountain – I don’t remember Natalie Portman being in this movie at all, but like Shakira’s hips, IMDB doesn’t lie.
I’m also convinced that Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley are the same person. Prove me wrong.
Keira Knightley movies I’ve seen
I actually liked all three of these, so I probably am a fan of Natalie Portman after all. I SWEAR THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON.
- Pride & Prejudice
- Love Actually
Again, I’m sure all of these ladies are lovely humans, but their acting just doesn’t do it for me. Should I continue to give them chances? Let me know in the comments below what movies I should see to make me fans of these women.